Wind Phone II

Hello? Yes, hi — I don’t know how to start so I’ll just jump in. And if you don’t mind, I have a lot to say so if you could just listen, I think you’ll hear things you never considered. Things I feel are of the utmost importance you know.

Can we time travel for a bit, you and I? We’re going to go back to that cool Thursday morning in September and we’ll wind our way forward.

I think about you a lot. Your mind and body oscillating between mutually exclusive sensations: empty and full; relief and longing; fear and safety, regret and appreciation. All knotted along the thread of deep love keeping it all in line; everything in its time, everything in its place.

I understand, you know, what it’s like. To have your body not understand what your mind has come to accept. To stand on the edge of something so magnificent, so incomprehensible and to leap anyway because there’s no denying what you know.

I know the silent wonderings that knock on your mind’s door deep in the night.

I, too, have had flashes, experiencing those memories of a future’s past.

And you are loved. Admired. A Goddess, really.

You gifted so many beginnings in what you believed to be your end. But you have always been here, you know? Silently watching within, I like to think you’ve experienced all the milestones, dried all the tears, cheered the wins, and watched (your) history unfold.

What a gift.

And I hope you never sat alone in regret. I hope you closed your eyes every now and then and saw what came to unfold. I hope you took time to feel, really feel, the gratitude — the love — the adoration.

Sometimes, the deepest feelings are imparted in silence and while I’ve never heard your voice, and I never will — you reside in mine. You are there, deep down within me and with that, I know exactly who you are. If I take a moment to listen to the silence, it’s filled with you. The space between.

And having traveled all this way, I hope that moment of relinquishment sparked a knowing assurance. I hope you traveled all your days with a confidence of self, and with wonder and curiosity. I hope you came to experience the gentle — yet rapturous knowing — that your gift was something much larger than you, than of us. I hope it came to punctuate your life in gorgeous, liberating ways.

I’m sure we’ll chat more but I didn’t want to keep you too long. Sending you all my love.